Once Upon a
by Hana Okita
Summary: Parodies of various fairy tales here! Requests open. Rated T for various reasons. Current: Once Upon a Tiny Girl II Couple P.: LenKu. Language, Suggestive Themes, Mild Violence and Stuff Warning.
1. Once Upon a Tiny Girl

**In a LenKu mood today, hehe. Language warning. Screaming ahead.**

Once Upon a Tiny Girl

A lonely widow sobbed by her window. "Boo, hoo, hoo …" She sobbed. "Why can't I have a damn child? Just one would do, and I can be happy! Dang it! Even a tiny one!"

Suddenly, an old woman appeared from nowhere in front of the widow's window. (Hey, notice the spelling: widow, window. Ha-ha) "You said a tiny one would do, eh?" Handing over a tiny seed she said, "This is a … err … tulip seed. Rose seed. Sunflower seed. Whatever. Anyways! This … _flower _seed shall grow into full bloom when … when the time is right. Yeah. And you shall have a … err … this will help you, whatever."

"You're implying that a tiny child will emerge from this flower child – I mean, seed?" The widow shrieked.

"U-uh … Y-yes. W-w-w-w-w-w-whatever." The old lady stammered.

"WHY DA HECK WOULD I," The widow jabbed a finger into her chest. "WANT A MINY CHILD?" She grabbed the old woman by the shoulders. "HUH?!"

"Because she will have a rather bright future! Yeah, and you would want to help her, right?" The old woman shot the widow a bright grin, failing miserably in the progress.

"WHAT BRIGHT FUTURE, WOMAN?!" The widow shook the old woman in all directions:

Left.

Right.

Up.

Down.

Right.

Up.

Down.

Left.

Up.

Left.

Down.

Right.

Leftrightupdownshakeshakeshakeshakeshake-

"HOLY WOMANS STAHP!" The old woman shouted, her voice shaking slightly due to the widow's shaking.

The widow obliged and took a shaky breath as if to stable herself.

"You see, her birth would help a … certain country. Wouldn't you be proud if this child … I mean, your child … I mean, ah whatever. If she helped a … _country _greatly?" Leaning in she raised an eyebrow. "Hmmmm?"

"Why would I want a MINIATURE CHILD?! You mad?!"

"What's wrong with tiny people?" The old woman squeaked. "I think they're perfectly good!"

"Fine, fine!" The widow glared at the old woman (she was starting to hate this woman, she was getting on the widow's nerves) and outstretched her hand. "Gimme the seed."

The old woman cradled the seed, like it was a tiny baby she was trying to protect. "You'll have to agree on the…"

"DAFUQ, WOMAN?" The widow screeched. "YOU WASTED LIKE, I DUNNO, A WHOLE DAY TRYING TO GET ME TO ERR … TAKE THIS WHATEVER SEED I DON'T GIVE A DANG DAMN ABOUT WHAT IT IS- AND NOW YOU ASK ME TO AGREE ON THE … WHATEVER IT IS -"

"It's the -" The old woman started helpfully, but the squawking widow shut her up.

"I said," She took a deep, deep breath. "I DON'T CARE! ANYWAYS, YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WASTING ABOUT A DAY FROM MY LIFE? I HAVE A GOOD MIND NOT TO TAKE THE DAMN SEED! WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THE GIRL, ANYWAY? I JUST. WANT. A. NORMAL. C-H-I-L-D. YOU GET IT? I JUST WANT A NORMAL KID, TO GROW UP WITH ME, GET MARRIED, GIVE BIRTH TO SOME MORE KIDS, LEMME HAVE SOME DAMNED GRANDCHILDREN, AND LET ME … ERR … DIE IN PEACE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT! NOW PUNCH THAT INTO YOUR ROTTEN, DANG, SHIT, DAMN BRAIINNNN!" The widow poked the old woman in the head.

"You sure are one ambitious woman …" The old woman shook her head, "And won't it be a waste of time if you _don't _take the child? Because, you could just slam your windows and don't listen to me …"

The widow slammed her windows shut. Into the old woman's face.

The old woman rapped on the windows like some stubborn old brat. "Okay, I'm sorry! I take back what I said!" She shouted, whilst knocking on the woman's windows. Her voice was slightly muffled. The widow pulled her shutters down, blocking her view of the old woman.

"I'M GENUINELY SORRY, MISS!" The old woman continued to shout. "If you want, I err can err …"

The widow pulled up her shutters and pushed open her window. She crossed her arms, like: _Gimme a better explanation. Now. I mean, err, this time. And be quick, mind you._

The old woman cleared her throat and presented the widow the whatever-it-is-no-one-cares seed with both hands, like she was presenting an important reward.

"I shall present you, the Thumbelina!" She raised the seed with both hands carefully and paused to make childish yet dramatic 'dun dun dun~' sounds. "OR ALSO KNOWN AS … (Dun dun dun~!) Miku … Hatsune! (Yeahhhhh!) Or … Hatsune Miku! (Woooooo!) Or whatever shit you wanna … call herrrrr!" She ended her 'speech of declaration or presentation or whatever' with a dramatic 'Ba ba ba dun dun~'.

The widow's hand hovered over the old woman's (she raised it down in order for the widow to take it more conveniently), looking reluctant to take it.

"Come on!" The old urged, her voice a whisper.

The widow's face totally scrunched up, like she was going to eat a worm. She frowned, eyeing the seed.

"Hatsune … Miku?"

The old woman nodded, starting to look annoyed. "Are you going to continue dilly-dallying?" Even her tone was annoyed.

"If she's a tiny child, what will she have to do about school?" The widow finally voiced out her question.

"Nah." The old woman tilted her head casually, as if she wanted to wave her hand in an _it-is-nothing _gesture but her hands that were cradling the seed lovingly didn't allow her to. "She's born to be rather intelligent, mind you. She's clever, packed with brilliance from the certain country I was talking about. What do you say~?"

The widow finally grabbed the seed. "Fine."

The old woman cheered a cheery 'Yay!' and started to do a small tap-dance. Finally she changed into a tiny girl, the size of a thumb, with two shiny wings sprouting from her back.

"WAIT WHAT YOU'RE A FAIRY? DOES THAT MEAN MY ERR DAUGHTER IS GOING TO BE A FAIRY TOO? HOLY CRAP!"

The fairy frowned for a few seconds, taking in the widow's questions. "Well, yes, I'm a fairy. I don't know if your daughter will be a fairy or not, so yeah."

"WHY DID YOU DISGUISE AS AN ANNOYING OLD WOMAN, YOU FAIRY-WOMAN?"

The fairy-woman grinned nervously like she wanted to go, but she couldn't. "Because … you would pity me and take the … seed quicker?" She answered, slowly and uncertainly.

"DAMN! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME YOU'RE A FAIRY? I WOULD DEFINITELY HELP YOU BY THEN! DANG IT, YOU'RE ONE STUPID FAIRY!" The widow face-palmed. "WHO DA CRAP WON'T HELP A FAIRY?"

The fairy chuckled nervously.

"I -" The woman started. "Oh wait, let me get water for a sec." She winked at the fairy. "Wait a minute, girl."

The fairy continued her nervous chuckles and laughs.

I mean grinning.

Smiling.

Heh-heh-ing.

Whatever!

"I'm back!" The widow announced cheerily. "Tell ya' a bit of me self, yea?" She smiled. "I have …. PERSONALITY DISORDER!" She declared. "YOU JUST SO HAPPENED TO GET ON MY BAD SIDE!" She pointed two fingers at the fairy. "HA-HA! HOW'S THAT!"

The fairy backed away nervously. "O-oh … Good! I mean, special! I've never met anyone with personality disorder before! Heh, heh, heh …"

"Oh, yeah." The widow mumbled dismissively. She pulled a chair from nowhere and sat in front of the window grandly. "You!" She pointed at the fairy. "Tell me about yourself! I mean, a bit about yourself!"

"Err …" The fairy fidgeted, looking extremely uncomfortable. "My name is Gumi?" She said lamely.

"Good!" The widow cheered. "Now, I shall plant this seed, and you can go! I will consult you about this seed in the near future! I shall summon you with a _'Oh, Gumi~!'_ okay?"

Gumi the fairy fluttered her wings nervously. "Okay! You can summon for the other fairies, too! Like err, _Rin Chan nau~!"_

Rin Chan nau the fairy popped out from nowhere beside Gumi. "I told you not to call me that!" She squeaked, sounding like a mouse in a computer or something like that. "My name's Rin! Rin and Rin only!" She looked at the seed in the widow's hand. "Oh good, you've accepted it."

"Err yeah." The widow looked at the seed and grinned. "Yeah."

"She has personality disorder." Gumi the fairy whispered to Rin the fairy, sounding nervous and scared. Rin gulped.

"I heard that!"

The two fairies gulped.

"Anyways," The widow smiled cheerily. "I," She gestured to herself, "will consult you two," she pointed at the two fairies with two fingers, "about this seed," She pointed at the seed in her palm. "From now, onwards!" She ended dramatically.

"Oh, yeah, sure, okay, fine, good, whatever, bye-bye!" The two waved their hands cheerily and flew off. Nervously flew off.

The widow stared after them. And then she shrugged like she was used to this. "Fairies." She said, and walked off to find a pot for her new daughter who was currently a stupid seed.

**Hi! Awesomedt requested for Snow White, but I want singing in that (yay!), and it's hard to make everything rhyme, so I'm working on it. R.J. Niner requested for … Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty (did I get it right?) so yeah … Maybe I'll do it one day- /shot**

** Children of Light: Err … request for something else, maybe? Mulan is hardddd! *****whines* My sister said that Mulan nearly killed her beloved horse thinking that she was going to die and I was like, WHAT? So … *Children of Light shoots Hana with an awesome bazooka* **

**YOU CAN REQUEST FOR SOME … FAIRY TALES (OR MAYBE NOT FAIRY TALES BUT WHATEVAH!) FOR THIS SERIES ALONG WITH THE PAIRINGS OR CHARACTERS IF YOU WANT! YEAHHH I'LL BE VERY HAPPY AND I WOULD TRY MY BEST TO WRITE YOUR REQUEST IF I CAN! **

**Basically, I made this series as a multi-chaptered story because it's troublesome for my ****sweet sweet darling ****readers to find all of the stories. And I admit that the ending was quite rushed. IT'S ALMOST 12 A.M. HERE~!**

**Reviews! Please!**

**-Hana**


	2. Once Upon a Snow Musical

**This is a request made by awesomedt, and it contains singing! So anyways, this chapter contains **_**REALLY **_**suggestive themes ("Messing around"), **_**REALLY **_****well, in my opinion** nasty swear words ("Damn"), and well, a bunch of other things. **

Once Upon a Snow Musical

The very evil queen stared at a mirror in a sand castle and starting to sing.

_Mirror, mirror in the sand,_

_Who's the prettiest in the land?_

_Hurry up and answer my call,_

_Or I'll go and kick yar' balls!_

The mirror didn't answer.

The queen strolled to a pile of rubber balls and kicked it.

A face broke into the mirror and started to wail.

_Yes, my queen, your servant is here,_

_And your orders he will hear!_

_(ANYTHING BUT THE BALLS, PLEASE. SPARE THEM BECAUSE THEY, LIKE _TOTALLY_, DESERVE A BETTER BALL LIFE)_

The evil queen smirked. "Now, that's better."

"What do you want, queen?" The face in the mirror drawled.

"Who is the fairest of them all?"

"You of course."

The queen waved her servant away with a satisfied smirk. The face disappeared completely.

"I SHALL BE THE BEAUTIFULEST – I MEAN, MOST BEAUTIFUL!" She cackled. A sigh erupted from the mirror.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Nothing!"

So the queen enjoyed her happy life with her mirror, his balls and shizzles. Until one day, she got pregnant. (DON'T ASK. DON'T.) In a rage, she stormed to the mirror for counseling.

_Mirror, mirror in my hand,_

_Who's the loveliest in this land?_

_Answer my call, or I shall dive_

_Into the kitchen to grab the knife!_

The mirror did not answer. Like usual.

The queen flashed a sparkly knife.

The mirror still did not answer.

The queen placed the cool tip of the knife closer to the mirror.

A face broke into the mirror and started to sob:

_Yes, my queen, you servant has come_

_All of your questions he shall sum!_

_(NOT THE KNIFE)_

The queen did not waste time to feel happy. "WHY AM I FREAKING PREGNANT?" She demanded.

"Because you _messed around _with the king, your majesty." The mirror said quietly.

"WHY IS MY BABY A GIRL?" The queen shouted, flushed.

"I don't know!" The mirror wailed.

So the queen wasted nine months in total rage and, when the baby – Miku, AKA Fire Black- was born, she stomped to the mirror.

_Mirror, mirror in this sand,_

_Why is Fire Black in this land?_

The face appeared in the mirror and gave out a heavy sigh.

_Oh, my queen, here is your answer:_

_She is here because you gave birth to her!_

"WHY MUST SHE BE A FREAKEN GIRL?" The queen barked.

"I said _I don't know!_" The poor face in the mirror sobbed. "Go counsel a science textbook!"

"I finished school ages ago!"

"Counsel a science encyclopedia!"

"Lazy!"

The face snorted. "Go ask the king."

"Heck no!"

When Fire Black grew up to be a pretty girl, the queen tried to get her into trouble with Mr. Mirror Face.

_Mirror, mirror on the wall,_

_I think Fire Black is playing with your balls!_

The mirror-face's answer wasn't what she expected.

_Your majesty, the fair and square,_

_I don't actually care._

"YOU STUPID MIRROR!" The queen screamed, and the tiny Miku looked up at her mother curiously.

"What happened, mama?"

She was so cute and lovable no one could get angry with Miku, even the queen. She crouched down and smiled sweetly, placing two hands on her daughter's shoulder.

"My sweet darling, maybe you should go out and play, _nee_? You can go find papa or something!" In a lower, sinister voice she added: "I hope you'll annoy him."

Miku nodded obediently, scooped up her cat toy, and hopped outside.

So anyways, their lives were probably like this, until Miku grew older. At the age of sixteen her father the royal king died.

His last words to Miku were:

_The king grabbed his daughter's hand feebly. "Daughter, I hope you'll … you'll find a man who'll __**–beep-**__ you and have lots of …" He gasped, "Kids …" And then he died._

So when her father died, Fire Black's mother made her do all of the dirty work and chores. And it was stupid, Miku noted, because they lived in a damn castle with lots of damn servants and her mother let her do all the damn work.

_Idiot mother._

* * *

One day Miku was sweeping the goddamn big gardens and she was singing a song resembling her ever-lasting hate for her mama.

_Oh mother, why do you hate me?_

_Is it because you're an 'Evil Queen' wannabe?_

_I guess it's because you're a goddamn bitch,_

_Who I just want to dip with bleach!_

_Oh, mother, don't you know I hate you?_

_I'm sure you know that I want to poison you it's true,_

_If you stop being a goddamn bitch,_

_I will stop trying to poison your lich!_

_Oh, mother, why do you make me do the chores,_

_It'll just make me want to kill you more!_

Miku sniffed as she swept the leaves into a bag, tying it up. "I hate mum."

Suddenly a voice sang to her:

_Oh, the pretty lady in a dress,_

_Why do you look like you're having a lot of stress?_

_Is it because you lost your dress,_

_Or is it because you're in distress?_

Miku scanned the area and tried to look at the singer. She saw a blonde prince sitting on a wall, smirking smugly.

"YOU STUPID IDIOT!" She shrieked. "HAVE YOU GOT BRAINS? WHY SHOULD I BE STRESSED IF I LOST MY DRESS? AND YOU MENTIONED EARLIER THAT I _am _WEARING A DRESS! YOU –beep-ING IDIOT!"

The stupid blonde wagged a finger. "Uh-uh there, watch your language, lady."

"I'M A GODDAMN PRINCESS!"

The blonde looked genuinely shocked. "W-what? Then why are you doing the chores?" He watched Miku's scowling face and remembered her song. "Oh."

Miku swatted him away. "Shoo, shoo! Go away and stop trying to annoy me, stupid."

The boy rubbed his chin. "You must be the legendary Fire Black! Suits you, you're damn cranky."

"Uh-uh there, watch your language, lady." Miku said in a good imitation of the boy's voice.

"I'M A GODDAMN PRINCE!" He shouted back, sounding convincingly like Miku.

Miku giggled and the boy's blue eyes sparkled.

"What's _your _name?" She asked the boy.

"Len," He answered coolly. "Seems that you like me, princess."

"And what if I do?" Miku asked testily.

"You don't seem like you even do."

Miku nodded. "I like you … as a friend. My mother taught me not to interact with strangers before, but dammit I'm never going to listen to her."

"Hard life you have, despite a princess." Len said knowingly. "I have this sister who forces me to wear her gowns in case there are some virus in it."

"How would _you _know even if it had virus?"

Len shrugged.

So the two became friends and Len would come over everyday to sing some weirdo song to Miku. Miku would scream her head off at him and they would laugh about it at the end of the day. But, alas! One idiot servant told the queen about it.

"WHAT?" The queen screamed. "SHE HAS A HANDSOME PRINCE FOR A BOYFRIEND –"

"A friend, my queen." The mirror-face corrected.

"-AND MY HUSBAND FREAKING DIED? HOW DARE SHE!" She threw a porcelain vase to the floor and it smashed to a thousand pieces.

The queen pointed at the mirror. "I demand you to take the form of a idiot and go!"

"Go where?" The face in the mirror asked lazily.

"Kill Fire Black! Get your hands on her blood!"

"How will you know even if I kill her?"

"I want a strand of her bloody hair!"

The mirror-face snorted. "Easy task, my queen." Then he started to climb out of the mirror like Sadako and strolled to the big gates.

"You forgot your knife!" The queen shrieked.

"Screw knives!"

While walking, the mirror-face-oh-wait-not-mirror-face sang a jolly song.

_I'm going to kill the princess!_

_I'm going to kill the princess!_

_Oh, such joy,_

_I'm going to kill the princess!_

_I'm supposed to kill the princess,_

_I'm not going to kill the princess!_

_Kick her away I shall,_

_Oh, I'm not going to kill the princess!_

_The queen will kill me,_

_The queen will kill me,_

_Not like I'll die anyways,_

_The queen will kill me!_

_She wants a bloody strand_

_Of the princess' hair,_

_So pluck it I shall!_

_I'm not going to kill the princess!_

Miku was picking flowers when she heard this song. She frowned. "_I'm going to kill the princess? _Which princess?" Blinded with curiosity and with the idiom '_curiosity kills the cat_' in her mind, Miku skipped to the singer.

She waved at the man. "Hi! I heard your song! Which princess are you going to kill?"

The man stopped to blink at Miku. "You must be Fire Black!" He exclaimed. "Oh, you've changed a lot!" Then he dropped his voice to a whisper. "You see, Your Highness, the queen is jealous of your boyfriend … I mean, guy friend and she wants to kill you. So she sent me, her loyal mirror friend, to kill you. Of course, I won't want to kill you, you lovely thing, so I've just got to pluck out one of your hairs, sink it in bloody blood, and hand it to the queen."

Miku gawked at the man. "What? So I'm supposed to give you my hair?"

"Err … yes."

Miku ignored him and broke of into a dead sprint.

"Wait! No! Hair! Blood!" The man extended a hand and watched Miku run away. He sighed. "Ah well, just got to find a solution I guess."

Miku likes to sing. So in this extremely memorable situation, she totally composed a messy song to sing.

_The queen is going to kill me,_

_And I haven't killed _her!

_The queen is going to kill me,_

_When I want to kill her!_

_Oh, that bitch I'll eternally hate her,_

_I shall create a funeral in her great favor!_

Miku sighed and ran to a cottage, still clutching her angelic basket of flowers. She burst into the cottage and saw a whole table of food.

"Oh good food!" She cried and rushed to a plate and started nibbling on it. "Om-nom-nom boobs taste good." She said, and then she slapped herself. "DAFUG I SAID?"

She grabbed a random mug and drank on it. After her delicious meal she grabbed a napkin and wiped her mouth.

"I need a bed!" Miku cried, belching. "I totally need a total bed!" So she rushed to a room, and saw four tiny beds. She shrugged and lay down on it, dozing off.

Soon, four dwarfs came skipping home, humming a merry tune. One of them looked at the open door and gasped.

"Someone has been in our house!" He exclaimed.

"Someone has been in our house!" The rest echoed.

They rushed into the house and gasped.

"Someone has touched our table!" The first guy exclaimed, like he was reading a script.

"Someone has touched our table!" The rest echoed.

The guy pointed to nibbled bread. "Someone has eaten our food!"

The rest gasped. "Someone has eaten our food!"

The guy picked up a cup and peered into it tentatively, like it could have some poison that would ambush him. Then he gasped. "Someone has drunk from our cups!"

The rest peered at the cup's contents after him, and gasped. "Someone has drunk from our cups!"

The dude pointed at the chair that was slightly pushed back by some stranger (AKA Miku). He gasped. "Someone has touched our chairs!"

They all ran to a room labeled 'bedroom'. The dude that keeps saying stuff opened the door and gasped. "Someone is sleeping in our beds!" He whispered in a hushed tune.

"Someone is sleeping in our beds!" The rest echoed in the same hushed whisper.

"Where is the someone?" A shorter one wearing goggles hopped up and down.

"Shh!" The first one who had his goggles strapped over his ears placed a finger to his lips. "You'll wake her!"

"How do we know if she's bad?" A third one with goggles on his head asked, inspecting the girl. "What if she wakes up suddenly and ambush us?"

"Nah," A fourth one, with goggles strapped to his head like the third one, waved a hand at his fellow dwarfs. "Look! She's clutching a basket of flowers!" He pointed to the basket. "She's an angel!"

"Ooh …" The other dwarfs, repeated, "An angel …"

Suddenly Miku let out a not-very-angelic, inelegant, disgusting and loud snore. The dwarfs jumped. Miku turned to the other side of the bed(s), mumbling something about killing the queen.

Fortunately, the dwarfs didn't hear her mumbling, except for the fourth one. He grinned and chuckled to himself in a corner.

"She's such an angel!" The one with the ear-strapped goggles marveled. "She's so beautiful!"

"So beautiful!" The others echoed, all nodding to themselves (except for the fourth one who was still chuckling with a hand over his mouth).

Soon Miku stirred, let out a giant moan, and sat up. Her hair was slightly tousled and she had a tiny trail of drool by her mouth.

"Whaa~?" She drawled, yawning. "Whare ham hi?"

"You're in our house!" The goggle one provided. The others nodded.

"Our house!" They repeated.

The dwarfs beamed at Miku like she was a bucket of candy and they were dying from the lack of candy.

Miku raised and eyebrow and wiped off the drool. "Any water, you guys?"

The ear-strapped one ran out from the room, probably to get water.

Miku fixed her hair. "So sorry, guys!" She croaked, pausing to yawn. "I was kind of running from my mother the evil queen who wanted to kill me when I was picking flowers for her ugly vase and then I ran and ran until I found this house. And then I was so hungry and thirsty and tired I kind of indulged myself to your stuff." Miku bowed, which was hard to pull off since she was sitting and the dwarfs' heads were leaning on the mini bedposts.

The fourth dwarf smiled brightly at her and stood forward, as the ear-strapped dwarf rushed in with a mug of water.

"My name is Gumi!" He introduced, shaking Miku's hand. "Let me introduce the others when you're done with the water!" Gumi beamed along with the others as Miku gulped down her water.

Gumi pointed to the ear-strapped one. "This one is Guma," He said, and Guma shook Miku's hand eagerly.

"Nice to meet you, angel … Nice to meet you …" He muttered, smiling so brightly it was blinding Miku's eyes.

"_Angel_?" Miku arched her eyebrows and placed her flower basket onto her lap.

"Ah, we'll explain it later," Gumi said dismissively. He gestured to the one wearing the goggles and said, "This one is Gumiya!"

Gumiya bounced forward excitedly. "I'm Gumiya! It's _such _a nice pleasure to meet you, angel!" He chirped, and Miku arched her eyebrows at the term 'angel', but did not say anything.

As Gumiya bounced back into his place beside Guma, Gumi pointed to a dwarf that looked like his twin. "This one is Gumo!" He introduced.

Gumo hopped forward and hugged Miku. "I hope you'll give us blessing, angel." He said seriously, and then backed into place.

"So!" Miku said, looking round at the dwarfs. "I hope you understand the meaning of why I'm here and will provide me some lodgings!" Guma raised his hand. "Yes, you! I mean Guma!" Miku said, pointing to him. Guma stepped forward.

"Err, angel, why are you here?"

"Oh right!" Miku exclaimed stupidly. "You kindly volunteered to get me water you probably don't know! I suggest you ask Gumo over there!"

Gumo started whispering Miku's tale to Guma. When he was done, Miku cleared her throat to regain their attention.

"Anyways! In order to repay for your kindness, I'll cook for you guys while you dudes go to … wherever you go everyday! And I'll help out in the chores!" Miku said cheerily, clapping her hands.

The dwarfs beamed and whispered among themselves. Miku could hear bits of their conversation.

"-Such an angel …"

"-Could …"

"-Don't know her name …"

"Gumi! You ask!"

Miku heard the conversation end and Gumi stepped forward. The two smiled at each other.

"I was wondering your name?" Gumi chirped.

"Miku, or Fire Black, as they call me."

They all gasped together and their smiles stretched to their ears.

"The legendary Fire Black!" They breathed, and bowed. "Your Majesty."

Miku quickly brought them to their normal height. "Meh, you need not call me 'Your Highness' or 'Your Royalty' or 'Princess' because my mother treats me like a housemaid!" Miku snorted. "So I'm not a Princess. Literally."

"The Legendary Fire Black!" They continued gasping.

"Will you stop it?" Miku snapped. "I told you not to call me that!"

They all pouted.

"The Legendary Fire Black: Personality like Fire and … I don't know why the heck they called me Black!" Miku cried. Then under her breath she muttered, "Perhaps … in a glorious way, I'm related to Sirius Black!" She shrugged. "Meh."

"So!" Miku beamed at them. "I am going to cook you guys some maybe-not-so-delicious-but-still-edible dinner!" Miku skipped away. "See you soon!"

* * *

Miku clapped her hands. "Dinner's ready!" She called, and watched the dwarfs rush out from the bedroom. They gasped at the table before them.

Miku raised an eyebrow as they all rushed to hug her.

"Oh my dwarfs," Guma breathed, "It's like heaven."

"What? I only cooked some stew and rice and sushi!" Miku said modestly.

Gumiya snorted. "You can be modest, angel (they at last preferred to call her that, not like Miku cared), but this is the best dinner – or meal – we ever had!"

Miku raised her eyebrows again.

"We usually eat curry rice," Gumo explained, "Cooked by Gumi." He gestured at said dwarf, who bowed and looked pleased.

Miku grinned at the attention, and gestured at the table. "Sit, and eat." The dwarfs obliged and started chomping down the food.

* * *

Len frowned at the empty castle grounds. "Where is my beautiful Fire Black?" He muttered. "Miku?" Len glared at the land longingly, like he wanted to jump down but he couldn't.

Because one time he jumped down and Miku totally ambushed him.

"_Miku?" Len called, looking down the walls. "Miku? Miku, where are you? MIIIIIIKUUUUU!" Len frowned. "Maybe she can't hear me. I should go down." So he jumped down._

_A second later, Miku came running out from a shed, holding a dangerous-looking rake and waving it at him._

"_&* # YOU, LE- I MEAN, FLOWER POT!" She shrieked. "GET THE #$* OUT YOU ^$ING PRI- I MEAN, WORM!"_

_Len ran up to the wall before Miku could kill him with the deadly rake._

"Miku?" Len called again. "HALLO?"

An evil looking woman came gliding out from nowhere, and Len almost fell down the wall because he was totally feeling the way you would if you were watching a horror movie with the speakers turned to MAX and in a dark room in a dark house in a totally deserted forest alone and suddenly a jump-scare came and the horror music goes DUM DUN DUM DUN!

"If you're finding _Fire Black_, boy …" The woman purred, "You'll never find her."

Len raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"She's dead!" The woman cackled.

"And why should I believe you?" Len asked suspiciously.

"Because …" The woman stopped herself and smiled dangerously sweetly up at Len, "Why don't you come down here, and we'll talk nicely with a cup of tea?"

Len snorted. "Lady, you ought to tell me why I _should _come down and from your tone, you're either going to rape me, capture me, kill me, take me as hostage, or kidnap me and call my parents for ransom."

_Damn this boy is too goddamn clever I can't damn beat him! _The queen thought angrily in her mind. "Well … I'm the queen, Miku's mother." She finally sighed, and admitted.

"You're the one Miku hates the most! She totally created like, a thousand songs in your favor! All of them is talking about how she would spill bleach on you or poison you to death or stab you to death or kill you or smacking you or something!" Len blurted.

"That's such a conscience I totally hate her too!" The queen blurted out. Then she mentally slapped herself for saying that.

"So Miku _isn't _lying!" Len gasped. "You _do _hate each other!" Then he started cackling evilly. "Oh the blackmail I have now … Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue …"

The queen made a noise that sounded like she wanted to snort but because of her position she can't. "Miku is dead now!" She chortled evilly.

"What proof does the self-proclaimed genius have?" The suspicious prince asked suspiciously because he was suspicious of the suspicious queen who was suspiciously cackling about how Miku is suspiciously dead. (AHA! THE SUSPICIOUS'S IN THERE!)

The queen raised the strand of hair. "Behold! Miku's hair! Stained with blood!"

Len extended a hand. "Let me see that for a while." The queen handed him the 'hair' with much difficulty because he was so high up and after inspecting the strand of 'hair', he snorted so loudly many birds flew out from the trees.

"This is no Miku's hair!" He declared. "This is just a mere strand of thread dipped in …" Len sniffed it, "Paint!" (How he did it, I don't know.)

The queen gasped. "Why that stupid mirror face …" She mumbled, the thread fluttering to a rest on her head (Len threw it there because he wanted nothing to do with teal thread), "I think I'm going to the castle now."

Len watched her retreat into her castle and rubbed his chin. "I suppose Miku ran away!" He announced to himself. "She must be in trouble!" He concluded. "And this is where her handsome Prince Charming usually runs on a handsome horse to handsomely go to her handsome prison to handsomely save her and handsomely marry her in a handsome wedding!" (AHA! THE HANDSOME'S IN THERE!)

So Len jumped down from the wall to retrieve his handsome horse.

* * *

The queen was fuming in front of her mirror. "YOU!" She screeched shrilly at the cowering mirror-face. "WHY DIDN'T YOU FREAKEN KILL MY FREAKEN DAUGHTER IN THE FREAKEN FOREST WHEN I FREAKEN ASKED YOU TO FREAKEN DO IT AND FREAKEN GO AND FREAKEN SAVE HER IN-FREAKEN-STEAD?!" She screeched. (AHA! THE FREAKEN'S IN THERE!)

The mirror-face sniffed. "Well, I couldn't kill her you know, it's so impossible! Why don't _you _kill her?"

The queen nodded knowingly. "Yeah … I suppose you're right …" Her eyes suddenly gleamed in an I-am-in-no-good light, "I'm totally so totally going to totally brew a totally evil poison and totally let the princess totally drink it!" (AHA! THE TOTALLY'S IN THERE!) She cried, like she had discovered an awesome discovery.

The mirror-face sighed. "Ah, do whatever you want. I suppose I don't care."

The queen cackled evilly until the birds flew out from their branches.

Bird 1: WHY CAN'T WE JUST REST IN OUR BRANCHES?

Bird 2: Geez Bird 1, calm down.

Bird 3: I think the boy and the queen are maniacs.

Bird 4: The queen is already mad.

Bird 5: Hell yes!

"I HEARD YOU!" The queen screeched from her window. The birds flew away before she could jinx them like Dead Cedric.

* * *

"We're going to dig some beautiful treasure from the gnomes, Angel Miku!" Guma beamed.

"Beautiful treasure!" The others echoed, nodding at each other.

"Err … you're stealing?" Miku asked.

"Nah! We're just _taking_!" Gumiya assured her.

"Taking!" The others repeated, nodding at each other again.

"But taking without permission means stealing!" Miku chided.

The gnomes gasped.

"Stealing!" Gumi breathed.

"Stealing!" Gumo cried.

"Stealing!" Guma exclaimed.

"Stealing!" Gumiya wailed.

"We're not stealing!" They chorused.

"We are attending a competition so we can earn some more gold!" Gumi blurted out. The others stared at him accusingly.

"We promised that we won't tell Princess Miku (Miku didn't care anymore; in fact she was pleased at this Princess thing) so it would be a pleasant surprise!" Gumo scolded Gumi, who lowered his head sadly.

"Come here, Gumi." Miku said kindly, ushering Gumi inside the house. Gumi looked at her suspiciously, and then stepped inside.

"I'm sorry, Miku the Angel!" He sobbed. "This was supposed to be a surprise, along with the information that I am a girl –"

"GUMI!" The others cried.

"YOU'RE A GIRL?!" Miku cried. "Holy Fire Black, I didn't know!"

"Gumi!" Guma exclaimed. "We're supposed to leave that for the best surprise!"

"Let's quickly go, before Gumi blurts out anymore secrets." Gumo said in a tone of finality, and they all marched away.

"Bye," Gumi breathed to Miku, picked up her sledgehammer (The dwarfs were armed with different weapons … or, err, _tools_), and ran off with the others.

Miku gawked after them, like she couldn't believe this, and marched into the house.

"I'm going to make an apple pie." She huffed, trying to calm herself down. "Miku, you've got to calm down."

Suddenly, someone rapped on the window. Miku turned and saw it was an ugly old woman. She swung open the window it hit the woman's face but Miku didn't actually cared because the old woman was _so _ugly so she muttered a 'sorry' under her breath.

"What'cha want?" Miku asked the ugly old woman, trying to find an apple for her apple pie. Then she realized there weren't any. "OH #$^!" Miku exclaimed. "Now I can't make the FRIGGIN apple pie!" She sighed.

The old woman made eager noises and Miku whipped her head backwards, some of her stupidly long hair slapping her beautiful face. Miku mentally cursed.

"What do you want?" She spat.

The old woman raised an apple. "I have an apple here! You can eat it – err, I mean, use it!"

Miku took the apple eagerly.

_Yes, eat it … you shall be poisoned, bitch! _The woman urged in her brain.

But, alas! Miku did not eat it. Instead, she snorted and laughed. "You think I would buy this, ugly old woman?" She laughed. "It's probably poisoned!" Unfortunately for the woman, Miku hated her mother to the point of remembering different poisons, their usage, and how to poison them all the time. So she obviously wasn't fooled.

The old woman cursed in her mind. _Damn … DOES SHE AND THE LEN BOY HAVE TO BE SO DAMN CLEVER?! _(Dear readers, it is now confirmed that this ugly jerkette is Miku's mother the evil queen.) She smiled sweetly. "Well, have this leek instead!"

"Leek?" Miku eyed the (le poisoned) leek in the woman's (AKA queen) hand. She lunged for it and the woman gladly gave it to her. "Is it mine?"

The woman nodded and Miku nibbled it. She made a gurgling noise from her throat, choked, sent the woman (AKA queen) such a hateful glare it sent chills down her spine, and fainted. Or died.

The woman cackled evilly and covered herself with a cloak. When she swept it away from her body, the evil queen was standing there. She cackled again, inspecting Miku's seriously beautiful face from the window. She cackled once more, and disappeared.

Soon, the four dwarfs – Gumi, Gumiya, Guma, and Gumo – came back. They swung open the door, each holding a large, and heavy-looking potato sack.

"We're ho –" They chorused but were interrupted by the sight of Miku's (supposedly) dead corpse. They gasped, looked at each other, and sobbed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They wailed. "Miku the Beautiful Princess is dead!"

"We've got to figure out the murderer!" Gumo cried in a justice tone. "And bomb their house up with dwarf bombs!"

"Bomb their house up with dwarf bombs!" The others echoed mournfully.

"Let's go!" Gumo cried, pointing at the door.

"Wait!" Gumi suddenly cried. The other dwarfs looked at her. She hugged Miku's (supposedly) dead corpse. "Don't you think we should make a coffin for her!"

The others nodded at each other, talking among themselves.

"We should make it plastic, so we can see her beautiful angelic face!" Gumiya provided.

"Or glass!" Guma offered. The others looked at him disapprovingly.

"No, Guma!" Gumo chided. "It shall be plastic, as glass is too mainstream!" The others murmured in agreement.

"So it shall be plastic!" Gumi cried, and they all rushed off to gather plastic.

* * *

Len was galloping through the woods on his handsome horse in search for his beautiful princess friend, until he saw four dwarfs staring mournfully at a plastic coffin.

He stopped in front of the dwarfs and stared at the coffin. Inside his angelic female friend – Miku was lying down. Len gawked.

"She's dead!" (Len had met with these dwarfs therefore he knows their names) Gumi wailed, burying her face into a handkerchief.

"She's not going to meet us anymore!" Guma sobbed, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief.

"No more stew!" Gumiya protested, blowing his nose into a handkerchief. ("Eurgh," Said Len.)

Gumo said nothing and stared mournfully but distastefully, like he convinced himself that this wasn't Miku's (supposedly) dead corpse and she would come staggering out from some dark shadow and freak the crap out of them.

Len peered at Miku's face. "She has been poisoned!" He declared. "Or she choked on some sheet!"

The dwarfs examined the prince's face. "How do you know?" Len pointed at Miku's face. They looked at her, and let out an 'Ohhhh.'

"So, how do we revive this beautiful Fire Black?" Guma asked Len, looking up at him.

"I suppose …" Len looked at the girl, "I could kiss her or something."

Gumi raised her eyebrows. "And what does that do?" She asked between chokes and sobs.

"I could make her spit it out."

"Sounds affective," Gumiya spluttered, coughing into his handkerchief.

"Can I do it?" Len asked the dwarfs, hoping he did not sound as eager as he felt.

Gumo shrugged, and Len took that as a 'yes'.

(I'm listening to a TV drama and they have those sad opera music so this is like, EPIC) The dwarfs backed into their house to give Len and the (supposedly) dead corpse of Miku privacy.

Len looked at the girl's beautifully pale face and lifted the cover of the plastic coffin (which was technically on the verge of crumbling). He leaned in and pressed his lips on his female friend's. Supposedly his hand strangled her neck, because when he (unwillingly) broke his contact with the (supposedly) dead corpse, a piece of leek dropped out.

Soon enough, Miku started choking, some of the color returning to her face. She looked at Len and grabbed his face.

"THE OLD BLOKE! UGLY! POISON MOI! KILL HER! I THINK IT IS LE EVIL QUEEN!" She gasped, calming down, and then looked at Len unbelievably. "Why are you here, male friend?"

Len shrugged. "To save you."

Miku gasped in mock shock (It rhymed!). "You, the worthless idiot of my male friend and crush, saved _moi_? Unbelieva-"

Len grabbed her by the shoulders. He was vaguely aware of the dwarfs around his legs. "What was that you said?"

Miku looked at him. "About you being a worthless idiot?"

Len shook his head. "After that."

Miku blinked, looking away from his face. "You, the worthless idiot of my male friend and crush …" Realization dawned on her and she flushed red, pushing herself away from Len. Len smirked.

"Now, now there, what was that?" He teased.

Miku scrambled to the edge of the coffin, messing up the blankets. "I … I … I don't … I didn't …"

The coffin had enough. It gave a loud creak and collapsed.

"Princess!" Gumi cried.

"Angel!" Gumiya wailed.

"Angelic Princess!" Guma sobbed.

"Beautiful Angel!" Gumo exclaimed.

"Save her!" The chorused to Len, who grabbed the young princess just in time and held her in bridal style. The dwarfs cheered, running around Len's legs.

"You saved her! You saved Angel! You saved Princess! You saved Beautiful Princess! You saved Angelic Angel! You saved Fire Black! You saved Miku! You saved Evil Queen's Daughter!" They cheered.

Miku blinked, apparently bewildered, and blushed as she realized the position Len was holding her in.

Len noticed it and gave her the flirtiest smirk she had ever seen. "Like this? Want me to carry you like this in the wedding? Eh?"

Miku blinked. "What wedding? You didn't hypnotize me into saying I will marry you, did you? Because even if you didn't, I would like to –" Miku stopped herself and looked away.

"Ah, I take that as a yes." Len placed her onto his handsome horse, and Miku covered her face like she would very much like to disappear. He looked back at the dwarfs. "Come to our wedding?" He invited.

The dwarfs nodded eagerly.

Len grinned, hopped onto his handsome horse, and galloped away with his beautiful now-girlfriend-but-soon-to-be-wife back to his parents' castle to plan their wedding, apparently forgotten about the queen.

**Sorry about the references here! And all of the swear words, of course. I **_**had **_**to censor the nastiest (in my opinion) swear word because I couldn't bring myself to type it. So anyways, the sequel of this chapter will be: Miku's revenge! Or something!**

**I think the next chapter would be R. J. Niner's request (is it Rapunzel? Rapunzel and … something), but will you please tell me the couple pairing for the chapter? Thanks! If I don't get enough inspiration for Rapunzel, it'll probably be Ushinatta Neko's RinKuo request: Little Mermaid. (Oh gosh I'm sooooo excited for this)**

**This chapter is 5600++ words! Like, the longest chapter I've ever written! *hugs everyone* **


	3. Once Upon a Tiny Girl II

**YAY! This is like, a continuation of Chapter 1, you know, the 'Once Upon a Tiny Girl' story. Sorry if I may appear quite … grumpy, because I just finished reading 'The Order of The Phoenix' and Sirius Black died and all, so … Anyways, usual warning: Language, Screaming, Nonsense, Suggestive Themes/Mild Lime, and the sort. (This story was never rated 'K'. Never. Ahahaha.)**

Once Upon a Tiny Girl II

The widow hummed a cheery song as she watered her plant-for-a-daughter. What's weird of the plant is: it changes everyday; on Sunday it was a Rose, on Monday it was a Tulip, on Tuesday it was a forget-me-not and so on. The widow _always _seemed to summon her faithful fairies because she doesn't know the heck what's going on.

"_Oh, Gumi!" The widow called out from her window. A fairy appeared in sleepwear by her window, still clutching a pillow and looking grumpy._

"_What?" Gumi spat irritably. "I was sleeping! Please watch the time when you summon me!"_

_The widow wagged a finger dangerously. "Now, don't you lose your temper on me, fairy!" Her tone changed to dangerously sweet. "Or I'll squash you to fairy jam with my finger."_

_Gumi backed away, terrified. "Okay, okay!" She yawned into her pillow. "What do you want now?"_

_The widow pointed to her plant jovially. "I want to know why it keeps changing everyday!"_

_Gumi looked at her confusedly. "What changes everyday?"_

"_The plant, Gumi, the plant!" The widow huffed._

_Gumi blinked at her confusedly for a few seconds. "Oh, that." She snorted softly. "Well that's easy. Just some kind of fairy tradition, you know; I was like that the whole time before I was born."_

_The widow nodded knowingly, and peered at her currently a dandelion plant. "Oh. So it'll change everyday?" _

_Gumi nodded._

"_What about fertilizer?"_

_Gumi exhaled from her nose loudly. "You don't need fertilizer, me lady." She patted the widow's finger. "Just watar it evelydai, and it will be fi-ne." _

_The widow nodded. "Okay, you can go back to sleep now, Gumi the fairy. Good night!"_

_Gumi fluttered away, and the widow could hear her mumbling, "I'm not even sleepy anymore, you old bloke …" The widow threw a leaf at the fairy and sent her zooming straight into a tree._

"_I HEARD YOU, IDIOT!" She bellowed at the tree._

* * *

"_Rin Chan nau~!" The widow called from her window. Immediately, a fairy appeared with a towel wrapping her hair, as annoyed as ever._

"_Yes?" She grumbled. "What do you want?"_

_The widow glared at Rin murderously, and the fairy cowered behind a pot. The widow clucked her tongue. "Watch it, fairy. I wonder why you guys are so grumpy every time I summon you."_

"_Because you interrupt us in our daily activities! And you won't, like, give us a helpful call and let us prepare or something!" Rin snarled._

_The widow threw a handful of soil at the girl, who last-minutely turned the soil into fluttering petals with her wand. "I said, _watch it, fairy._" The widow growled._

"_Fine …" Rin mumbled, taking her towel off from her hair, "So, lady, what do you want?"_

_The widow grinned. "I want to know where you guys will take my daughter when she grows up."_

_Rin shook her head. "No."_

"_Yes."_

"_No."_

"_Yes."_

"_No."_

"_Yes."_

"_I SAID NO!"_

"_WHY NOT?"_

_Rin grabbed the widow's hair. "Because! Our king ordered us not to!"_

_The widow patted Rin on the head with such force she her knees gave way and she collapsed. "Then don't tell him you told me!"_

_Rin fluttered away hurriedly with a hasty 'NO!'_

_The widow stared at her, shrugged, mumbled a sullen 'I knew it, they _just won't _tell me' and sulkily walked back to her house._

* * *

_The widow threw open her windows. "RIN CHAN! GUMI CHAN! I AM SUMMONING YOU ABOUT AN _IMPORTANT _QUESTION CONCERNING MY UNBORN HALF DAUGHTER!"_

_Almost immediately said fairies appeared on the window anxiously. _

"_What? Did she become a seed again? Did she disappear? Did she wither away? What happened?" Gumi asked, grabbed the widow's index finger and shaking it with difficulty._

_Rin started sobbing. "Oh gosh, Miku!"_

_The widow snorted. "Oh nah, she's not dead, paranoid idiots." The fairies made a grunt of protest, but if the widow heard it, she didn't bother; instead she continued: "I just wanted to ask if you're going to abandon me in this lonely house after my beautiful half-maybe-not-my-daughter grows up."_

"_I thought it was about Miku!" Gumi objected. "This is technically about you!"_

_The widow sniffed. "Well, heck yes it's about her! If she has a healthy, wealthy life there in heaven-knows-where, and doesn't even come back to visit this poor lonely lady, I'll die! Of loneliness!" She complained._

_For once the two fairies felt sorry for the pitiful old woman. Rin fluttered up to the widow's shoulder and stepped on it into a sort of pat._

"_Don't worry, you could summon Miku anytime! Just … not too frequent." Rin assured her._

"_Why?" The widow asked._

_Gumi flushed red and Rin grinned suggestively._

"_Don't … d … don't … don't you … don't you see?" Gumi spluttered, her face readily turning red by the moment. "T … they … the two … they … couple … they … they … they might …" Gumi's face turned pure red now, "Y … You … You … could … you could … interrupt … you could I … interrupt … their … they … the two … their … moment." _

_Rin's grin (That rhymed) spread widely over her face, amused by Gumi's red face and the widow's confused one. "Don't you see?" She said steadily, repeating Gumi's words. "You might interrupt the couple's moment."_

"_Who couple? What moment?" The widow questioned._

_Rin's grin spread so widely across her face it became a Cheshire cat sort of grin. "Miku shall be married to a prince, you know. And they would be a couple. And couples do some sexual things to each other sometimes – oh, Gumi, stop hiding your face!" Rin slapped Gumi's hands away from her face._

"_By sexual things, do you mean hugging?"_

_The fairies face-palmed at the widow's idiocy. _

"_No! More than that!"_

"_Err … Kissing?"_

"_Warmer!"_

"_Touching!"_

"_Hotter!"_

"_Stripping!"_

"_You're almost there, lady!"_

_Gumi sniffed at the wrongness of their conversation. "I don't like this," She mumbled._

"_Stripping …" The widow, scratched her face, like she didn't know anymore._

"_It starts with a 's' and ends with an 'ex'!"_

"_S … ex … Se –" The widow turned as bright as Gumi and she turned away, not meeting Rin's grin._

"_That's why you see," Rin patted the widow's hand, "You _should not _summon the young lady. Give her a call first."_

"_And if I do?"_

_Gumi stuffed her fingers into her ears, deciding firmly that she does _NOT _want any part with this conversation._

"_If you do …"_

**Rin's VERY sexual thinking (I put dialogues only in this because it's too erotic for my liking)**

"**Nngh, stahp!"**

"**Aah …"**

"**Mm –"**

"**MIKU!"**

**Miku appeared on the window of her half-mother's house, wrapped in a blanket and very angry.**

"**What were you **_**doing**_**, Miku?" Her half-mother asked suspiciously. "Is that a towel?"**

"**Mother!" Miku exclaimed grumpily. "I was having se-"**

"_And that's what would happen, if you call her in the night time or something." Rin concluded. Gumi, having failed in covering her ears in order not to listen to the erotic conversation, burst into tears. Rin hugged her friend. "Aw, I know it's too much for you. Calm down."_

_The widow watched with her mouth wide open._

* * *

The widow frowned at the plant. She was bored now, and she wondered whether or not she should call her fairies. She had not forgotten her last sexual conversation with Rin, and she did not want that to happen again.

The widow shrugged, and walked away to put away her watering can. When she came back, she saw a piece of leek replacing the place of the sunflower she was watering earlier.

"WHOA!" She exclaimed, and hurriedly summoned the two fairies. "RIN CHAN NOW! OH, GUMI! GUMI! RIN! RUMI! GIN! RIMI! GUN!"

The two fairies appeared on the window as usual, looking startled. Gumi was holding some wax in her hand, as if she was ready to stuff her ears with the wax if she needed to.

"What happened?" Rin asked, though with a smug smirk on her face.

The widow pointed to the leek planted on the pot.

The two fairies' eyes widened. They ogled at the plant.

"Miku … is about to be born!" Rin choked.

So they gawked as the leek magnificently split into half and a girl gorgeously emerged from it.

"Is that my gorgeous daughter?" The widow gasped as the girl fell out, her fall cushioned by a fairy pile that seemed to be Rin and Gumi. The widow picked up her gorgeous daughter and cradled her, which was unnecessary, because Miku totally could stand up and talk.

"Hi!"

Rin and Gumi gasped. "Voice as refreshing as a thousand of tinkling bells, face as gorgeous as the purest drop of dew, hair as silky as a rushing waterfall, eyes as glistening as the sunlit jewel, figure as perfect as an hourglass …" They gasped, "Beautiful …"

The widow frowned at her half-maybe-not-her-daughter. "Does that mean you're totally going to take her away?"

"Err …"

"Can I keep her?" The widow begged with those cute irresistible puppy dog eyes.

"Okay …"

"YAY!" The widow held Miku close to her face in a sort of hug. "I love you so much, future fairy!"

"Yay!" Miku echoed.

"Speaking about fairies …" The widow looked at Miku, "Why don't she have wings?"

Gumi and Rin peered at Miku's shoulders. "Curious …" They mumbled, circling Miku in the widow's palm. Finally when they stopped, they shrugged. "We do not know."

"So she's not a fairy?" The widow asked hopefully, as Gumi and Rin fluttered down back to the table beside the window.

"Yes, she is!" Gumi and Rin chirped. "She was born from a plant, and the plant changed into a food, so she's a fairy!"

"What kind of logic is _that_?"

Gumi and Rin shrugged. "In our kingdom, fairies are born that way." They flapped their bee-like wings. "So, anyways, we're going, tea party later! Bye, widow!" And with that they flew off.

"Oh, and Miku can be quite dumb today! Feed her _lots _of leeks!" Rin threw over her shoulder.

"What?"

"It's her favorite food!" Gumi screamed, and they fluttered out of sight.

The widow looked at Miku sadly. "Looks like it's just you and me," She murmured.

"You and me," Miku echoed, nodding.

* * *

One month has passed since Miku's birth. Her mother has made her a bed out of a small container with a pillow made out of cotton and a heap of flower petal woven together for a blanket. In her spare time, Miku would visit her 'birthplace' the flowerpot to summon her friends Rin and Gumi. Now Miku was eating her leek lunch.

The widow looked at Miku. "Do you need more leeks?" She asked in a motherly fashion. Miku knew that her mother had personality disorder, though her 'grumpy side' rarely surfaces anymore. Miku shook her head as a response. Her mother smiled at her and returned to her lunch.

Miku never needed to go to school. Rin and Gumi said that she was born intelligent, because that is a fairy thing. Speaking of Rin and Gumi, they _always _tried to convince Miku that she was a fairy. Which she is not, because she doesn't have wings, nor she knows magic. When she provided the two stubborn fairies this answer, they would retort persistently that she, Miku, _is _a fairy because she was born as one and she could communicate with flowers and birds and fairy stuff. And their explanation for their replies is always: because it's a fairy thing. And then Miku would scream at them that she _wasn't _a fairy.

Miku looked up from her leek lunch. "Mother?" She called. Her mother acknowledged her with a slight nod as she was slurping her soup. "Why do Rin and Gumi keep saying that I'm a fairy?" She had asked her mother this question many, many times before, and she would provide Miku a spectacular story about how she emerged from a leek. Her mother wasn't much help, after all. But Miku still asked, hoping that one day they'll crack and tell her that this is all a joke.

"Because, darling," Her mother replied between slurps, "You _are _a fairy. As much as I do not want to admit it, you are a fairy. You arose from a piece of leek, and according to Rin and Gumi, appearing from a type food is the way fairies are born. And anyways, even if you aren't a fairy, you aren't human, Miku. No human is born from a pot."

Miku made a face. "But what if you guys aren't telling the truth? I don't think I'm a fairy. Why do you guys keep saying so?"

"Because, Miku dear," Her mother tried again, "You are one! And besides, no human is _your _size – oh Miku, don't you give me that face, admit it, you're too tiny to be human – and you have fairy friends! I mean, which fairy _automatically _befriends a … a human?"

"Rin and Gumi," Miku answered mechanically. "They became your friend. You are a human, mother."

"Miku," Her mother mumbled stiffly, "Please don't say that. Makes me feel very distant with you. Anyways," She cleared her throat, "You are a fairy, Miku dear, admit that. I know you know what we know."

Miku frowned. "You know what we know what I know?"

"No!" Her mother snapped. "Geez, what's wrong with your hearing these days? You've ought to pay more attention to what I'm saying Miku … Miku?"

Miku blinked, snapping into reality. "Oh, sorry, you were saying?"

The widow sighed. "I was saying …" She frowned, "What was I saying again?" The widow scratched her head and shrugged. "Doesn't matter in any way. You simply won't listen, so what for?" So she returned her full attention to her meal.

Miku glowered at her leek. Somehow, it didn't seem so tempting anymore.

* * *

"Hey, mom?" Miku called for her mother as her mother cleaned the plates.

"Yes?"

"I heard that you got my history planned, mother. What's this about?" Miku asked quietly. She was dying to ask this question for ages, since Rin blurted it out. Gumi had to slap the blond fairy so hard that she fainted. Miku saw her mother look at her strangely.

"It wasn't me," She said simply. "Why you ask?"

"I –"

"How did you know?" Her mother interrupted, scrubbing a mug so hard it seemed to crack a little. The widow noticed and rinsed the mug hurriedly.

"Rin blurted it out," Miku said.

"And? Found out more, daughter?"

"Gumi slapped her so hard she fainted."

"Oh." For some reason, her mother sounded disappointed. "Well, all I know is …" She paused to sigh, and Miku urged her on eagerly, "All I know is that you're to marry some prince in the fairy land, wherever it is or whatever it's called; and have a happy life while I'm not supposed to summon you frequently." The widow grumbled.

"Why?" Miku tilted her head curiously. The other questions can wait. All she wants to know is: why her mother can't summon her frequently – "Wait. You can't summon me if I'm not a fairy! And who's this _prince_? What fairy land?"

The widow flushed a bright red. "Well … I don't know about the details; like I said: all I know is that you're supposed to marry some prince in some land which Gumi and Rin _just won't _tell me, and I'm not supposed to summon you!" She ended and resumed her dishwashing.

"Why?"

The widow gulped, like she long expected this question. "Well …" She rinsed the last plate, "Well …"

"Well?" Miku pressed.

Her mother made a show of wiping the plate slowly, rubbing at unnecessary corners so when she was quite done, the plate was so shimmering clean that it was blinding to the eyes. When she put it away and opened her mouth for an answer, the phone rang and the widow eagerly rushed out, crying 'I'll get it!' all the while.

Miku raised an eyebrow at her mother's strange behavior. Why _can't _she summon Miku frequently? Besides, even if her mother summoned Miku, Miku can't do anything, anyways. She's just a normal … midget girl. Miku is a little teenier than a midget, though, like a mini midget or something. Miku tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"So I'm supposed to marry a prince in a land Rin and Gumi won't tell … eh … I wonder … where's this place … curious, indeed … I would so very like to know …" Miku mused to herself. She could hear her mother's excited and unnecessarily loud conversation with a certain aunt.

"Never you mind," A familiar voice chirped by the window. Miku whipped around and saw her two friends perched by the windowsill.

"Rin! Gumi!" She greeted, running over to sit with them.

"What you should know is …" Rin grinned suggestively, "Why your dear mommy shouldn't summon you so frequently." Gumi let out a big groan and Miku could hear her mother hastily trying to end the conversation outside.

"Okay, okay, okay, Alicia, you can buy the silver one … Yeah, it's very nice, Alicia! Oh, you're going there for the holidays? That's very good, Alicia … Yeah, yeah! Yeah, it's lovely, Alicia … ARGH JUST SHUT THE ^*$# UP ALICIA! F** OFF ALICIA! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M HAVING ONE OF MY WEIRD MOOD SWINGS! I'LL DAMN TALK TO YOU DAMN NEXT TIME!" The sound of the phone slamming down onto the receiver was heard. Then the phone rang again. The widow roared.

"Don't say it!" Gumi moaned, clinging onto Rin's arm. Miku raised her eyebrows.

"SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT HUUUUUUUUHHHHH!"

Rin smirked. "Okay then! Your mother can't summon you because –" She was interrupted by Miku's mother, who threw a whole entire watermelon to her face. (Rin was technically squashed.)

"Don't. Tell. Her." The widow growled. Gumi gulped, made the watermelon vanish with a flick of her wand, picked the flattened Rin up, and flew away.

"Bye, guys! Urgent stuff to do!" She called and fluttered away.

Miku's mother turned to Miku, her red eyes flashing. Miku gulped.

"You. Come. With me."

**It was supposed to be longer, I was supposed to type up Miku's whole trip to wherever her wonderful prince is, but I got lazy for some dumb reason, and I think I'd settle down with that for now. It's very cool.**

**Spoiler: NEXT CHAPTER SHALL BE MIKU'S REVENGE ON THE QUEEN! AND A BUNCH OF OTHER FASCINATING ADVENTURES! YAAAAAAAAAY**

****Do all of my readers stalk me or something? You guys know everything … everything I like … like Milk … or Cake … it's scary.****

**Oh, and whoever read LINK (my other story), you can _totally _check out the poll in my profile.**

**-Hana**


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